Having just returned from a weekend all by myself in New York City, I have countless tales to tell (ok, probably more like 12-16 tales, most of which I don’t recall the endings to as I was blitzed). That being said, there’s one in particular I think deserves special attention not only because I recall it clearly from beginning to end, but because it really made my vacation.

After finding out the Off Broadway play I’d intended to see was sold out, I started searching for something else to go watch on Saturday night.  I ended up deciding on Baba Brinkman’s The Canterbury Tales Remixed, at the SoHo Playhouse. In a nutshell, I’d highly recommend it, but for the purposes of this post, I’m going to stick to what happened after the show. 

As I’ve recently become a bit of a Foursquare addict, I was excited to see that upon “checking in” to the Soho Playhouse, guests are entitled to a free glass of wine. Never one to turn down complimentary booze, I hit up the basement bar post-Chaucer to claim my glass. Grabbing a candlelit seat at the back of the room, I promptly started sipping and scrawling in my notebook (as for some reason, drinking alone always feels more acceptable if I’m writing furiously, tortured novelist-styles, while doing it). 

By the time I’d finished my glass of wine and put down my pen, the room had filled up considerably. Clearly there was going to be another show of some kind, and clearly I would be staying for it since I had no other plans. (I have my Foursquare glass of wine to thank for the right place right time experience I’m about to describe, but as I was already seated before someone started working the door, I probably owe Ted Greenberg/The SoHo Playhouse some scrilla - sorry about that). Anyway, 10pm rolled around and both the house and my wine glass were full, just in time for The Complete Performer to begin. 

The Complete Performer is a mostly one man comedy show by Emmy Award winning, former Letterman writer, Ted Greenberg. And it’s hilarious. From magic tricks and costume changes, to a giant bobble-head mascot made in Ted’s likeness and everyone’s favourite turtle neck replacement, the dickie, I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. I won’t spoil the show, but I will say that if you’re a fan of the song “Sweet Caroline,” and have always wanted to see a middle-aged man jump rope in thong, The Complete Performer is probably for you. 

But wait, there’s more!

In what I think is unprecedented Off Broadway showmanship, Ted finishes off his set by randomly selecting someone from the audience - via a ballot-packed salad spinner - to receive a free cab ride anywhere in Manhattan for them and their party. The best part? Ted’s at the wheel and his slightly hydrocephalic-looking Mascot rides shotgun. In typical horseshoes-up-my-ass fashion, I was the lucky party of one (which was only mildly embarrassing to admit in front of a crowd when asked how many people were with me) to get whisked away 60 seconds after the end of the show.

So, thanks for the ride and the laughs, Ted and Mascot. I can’t wait to get back to NYC and see you guys again (and I promise, I’ll even pay for the ticket next time!).